"Just ignore it," I was told

For about the tenth time since I've been diagnosed with BP II, I recently encountered someone who told me that I shouldn't let things bother me, just ignore it and don't think about it. I m having difficulty coping with my mothers alzheimers behavior. I want to spend time with her, yet when she lashes out my mind starts racing. I suggested my brother call the doctor so he could prescribe an anti depressant for her. That's when he advised me to just do what he does. "Just ignore it."I was frustrated, hurt and angry. How many times do I have to give an informative speech on BP. I've emailed info on it to all my family members and yet they still haven't been able to wrap their heads around it. Maybe I should have someone scan my brain and his brain to show the difference in brain activity.

#wildflowers

Letting Go of guilt, fear and frustration

QA Lace

Queen Ann Lace

Avoiding some stressors

I posted a picture of the Blueridge Mountains because I loved hiking and observing the beauty in the mountains. There are beautiful waterfalls, canopy of trees, wildflowers and an orchestra of birds sounds. Very calming. I wish I could camp in the mountains, but there are bears and I don't want to take a chance to get attacked by one.

Why am I talking about the mountains. I know my illness can be set off by stress. I can be calm and content, but then I may run into a stressor that could attack my mind just like mountain bears could attack me.

Part of life is filled with stress. Can't avoid it.  But we can keep our distance from some of the stressors. 

There are some people that I keep my distance from. My mother is one of them. She's in middle stage alzheimers and everyone thinks she also has bipolar II like me.  Many years ago, my grandmother told my Aunt that there was something wrong with my mom.  Actually, most of the people in my family noticed, but didn't know what it was.

I love my Mom and she can be so sweet, but then she can become agitated and lash out. It's also very hard to reason with her. Part of it is her alzheimers and part of it is the bipolar. Sometimes I cry because I want to spend more time with her, but I know for my own mental health I have to keep my distance.

I also cry because she was never diagnosed and has suffered with the illness for a long time and family memebers, including myself, wouldn't have to be exposed to her lashing out, now and in the past.

I told my dad that I have bipolar and that Mom has it. But he's in denial won't take her to a  therapist so she can get the right meds.

I hope that the younger generation is more educated on mental illness so they don't have to suffer  like my Mom and others.

So I can't go camping and I can't spend as much time as I would with my mom. I have to think of my own well-being.